Dreams

Warning: Due to the fact that most people wouldn't recognize sarcasm if it hit them in the face, I must inform the reader that EVERYTHING I say in this post is sarcastic, and no, I don't actually believe any of this crap.

   Dreams could be a huge variety of things. They could be mental introspection, they could be visions of the future, they could be otherworld alien communication who-knows-what; they could be ANYTHING. But I think that dreams are artificially implanted by the government as propaganda tools to persuade people to do what the federal government wants. The government has the ability to implant these visions because they maintain contact with a superior alien race through Area 51, and they got the technology from them. How else do you think we invented the light bulb or the Atomic Bomb or space travel or computers? Aliens gave us the technology, because humans just aren't smart enough to come up with that stuff on their own. So dreams are just a way for the government and their off-planet sponsors to control our minds and actions while we sleep. How else did Obama get elected, right? And you know what? I think all the aliens on that planet are American, because America is the single greatest nation ever created! Our country has lasted for a whole two hundred years! Therefore, Uncle Sam is an alien, and he wants YOU to join the United States Navy.

Okay, NOW I'm being serious. I honestly think dreams are a way for our mind to release stress, because when I dream I often dream about situations that are stressing me out being resolved and fixed. That's all fine and dandy, but it sucks when you wake up and realize that none of that stuff actually happened and you still have to resolve that problem.